If Only We Were Different...

君の姿は僕に似ている
静かに泣いてるように胸に響く* 

I know exactly how it feels to know someone very similar to me. We're wearing the same masks. We've been hurt perhaps all our lives. We experienced unrequited love. We were loved by unwanted person. We're loved and despised at the same time. We reject people, we're constantly pathetic and in despair. We feel like loving and giving and dreaming only make us live in vain because we're rejected and unwanted by the world. Nothing goes as we planned, the universe never takes our side.

We're so similar, yet so different. You're like a queen. People adore you. Those who seem rejecting you are in fact love you more than you know. Or maybe I think they love you that much, it makes no different anyway. We're so similar, but I can't be like you. I can't be you. It's not that I want people to adore me. I want them to love me even when I look pathetic. I want them to feel such a curiosity to my pathetic thoughts. I want to be incomparable like you. You're one of a character in my personal fiction, but I can see you very clearly, how you put my existence among the shadows. I am always your shadow, Milady. You're invincible.

Ah, Milady. If only I never knew you. If only our fate is not crossed. If only I were someone different. If only we were just... different.



*Kimi wa Boku ni Niteiru - See-Saw